He Who Writes

How does this represent Jaden Brown?

It does but it like totally doesn't all at once. Writing and my views on it take up such an overwhelming portion of what I do and why I do it but, of course that's never going to be the only way in which I represent myself in front of or for anyone. I am almost selfish in a way when it comes to how I give myself to the world. I enjoy carrying this bit of mystery along with putting myself in a position where I am being seen for what I want to be seen as. I think that video of me talking at my phone in my bedroom after school genuinely does better justice to who I am as a creative than the mediocrity of projects I've been made to take a bac seat on because my ideas aren't valued in that class. I am so many things in a singular package and I don't need or want to showcase other people's creativity and throw my name on it just because I need the grade. Doing that genuinely feels like sacrificing the things that make my work and my experiences what they are. So yeah that video does represent that part of me that creates in the form of written word.

What would I change?

Maybe the amount of effort I put into it because it is minimal I can admit that. I have more things to do than try and film something that I can't edit or anything like that because of a lack of time and trouble getting my laptop to support any additional programs. Like it's recorded on my phone and while yeah that's not great it is something. I think that in my own future where my world and creativity is not dependent on me making my ideas palatable enough that a bunch of cishet white kids will respect enough to want to take part of then I can make a reel that I feel comfortable with putting into the world but that is not my current situation and if I sound bitter in this blog post. Good. I am bitter about it and I have made my peace with that.

What would I do the same?

If I had to figure out this project in the exact same circumstances that I did this year then I would most likely be turning in the same or a similar video. I think that it says something about who I am and what is important to me when I'm writing.

Experience I will carry to my next project

None of this. I didn't gain anything from this project other than a better understanding of myself and the way I want to portray myself to other people. It's not anything new and it definitely doesn't matter for anything I am doing in e-Comm but it means something for me to not try and flaunt something that simply isn't there.

The End

My general thoughts on this project are that I could've done more in a different circumstance but really who's to say I would have? I also am glad that I am working towards being at peace with the fact that e-Comm and this class especially are circumstances that my point of view and creative ideas are generally not valued by the majority of that class. I am just proud of myself for not completely sacrificing what makes my writing vulnerable and something worth investing on the people I spend an hour with five days a week. I refuse to base my self worth and talent on the opinions of those who create the same cookie cutter pieces time after time when I am constantly working to better myself as a writer by pursuing things that genuinely do challenge the way in which I create. Sorry if the video isn't up to par with your expectations but I feel like I stayed true to myself and for me that's more important.